Thursday, November 17, 2005

My Dead Father

A lot of people ask me, “Do you know your dad?” I used to tell them that my dad died before I was born. I never really knew what having a father really was. I still don’t know what having a father is about.

My sister used to tell me stories. She used to tell me that my dad was dead at first, and then she finally told me that he was still alive and that he was a good guy, but a very bad dad.

My brother used to tell me stories after I got all the info out of my other sister. But his story was different. His story was true. He told me how it was. My father was a drug dealer in Chicago and every time he would see my brothers and sister and me he was drugged up.

See, my father wasn’t dead. I just had to do a little investigating to get to know the truth about what really happened between my father and my mom.

My father was a truck driver since he was 18 years old and he made real good money. Until he went and started living in Chicago, and everything went downhill from there. My father turned into a low life drug dealer, within a short period of time

He was fat when he started dealing drugs and when he stopped he was skinny and got back into trucking. That’s when his attitude started and he started hitting my mom. My father would be so bad that he took our TV from in front of us, and sold it for drugs. He slit the tires on my mom’s only car and we were without a car for a month.

I’m glad I never met him. I don’t think I ever do want to. The way the way that he treated my mom was terrible and there isn’t a person in the world that should have had to go through what my mom went through. I give my mother the greatest respect because of that. She lived to see another day with a real family. In my whole life he never was there for me and I don’t want to be there for him.

My mom was 29 when she had me and I am the middle child, and also a twin. I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers. The one oldest sister and my 3 brothers were all from my father. My mother got remarried and had my little sister.

I’m 16 now and my life is great and my mother after 16 years finally is getting child support and is taking all the money from it and buying my family’s Christmas presents with it.

My brother got ahold of my dad about 6 months ago and he wants to meet him. He really wants to see us and I thought that that was bull because he could have found us if he wanted to find us. The last time that my brother talked to him he hung up and he changed his phone number.

My brother is going out there to see my dad in Chicago soon. I am trying to convince him not to go out there to see him because he never tried to come out and try to find us in the past. I really wish that he would not go at all.

~Billy Bob


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You did a good job naming this story. Too bad your dad never got to know you.

6:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is very mature of you to be able to appreciate what your mom and step dad do for you, and not to focus on your biological father and what might have been.
With that attitude, I am sure you will go far in life.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The respect that you have for your mother will help you become the kind of a husband and father that your own father never was. I'm so glad your life is great now.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Billy Bob, it is a sad thing when people disappoint us, abandon us, and hurt us, but they do. You did a really great job expressing how you feel about the circumstances of your life. I'm glad things are looking up for you for now. Keep writing and expressing your hurts. That is a good way to start healing from them. Bless you.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent job on your writing piece. I can see why you are worried about your brother meeting or being with your dad. Since he is determined, your job will be to see that when he gets back that he's ok. It may not go as well as he hopes but you have to give him the chance to find out for himself.
As for you young man, you see to have it together and are making some really good choices. I'm so happy to have read your writing and be able to see how you have dealt so positively with what could have been a bad time for you. I guess mom is the one to thank for all this.
The best of luck to you. Keep on with this wonderful writing. You're teacher is doing great things with all of you. I'm so pleased. s.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Bonnie Calhoun said...

Biily Bob you do a great job of expressing yourself with words. Keep up the good job.

I'm glad that your mom and step-father are good influences in your life.

As you grow, you will be able to understand adults better, sometimes they don't make the best choices but it is not a waste if you learn something from it and don't repeat that same bad behavior.

10:12 AM  

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