Friday, November 18, 2005


My whole life has been painful. Since my friend went to prison. And my grandpa died. And I did drugs.

My grandpa died when I was three years old. I was so scared. All I remember is that I was at his house when it happened. I was playing with the dog. I went to go watch T.V. and he was dead. I did not know he was dead. I thought he fell asleep. When I tried to wake him he would not wake up. I started to cry. Then I started to hit him on the leg. He was not moving or waking up.

I went to get my grandma and she went into the living room and tried to wake him up as well. He would not wake up for anyone. She told me to go get the phone. I ran and got it. I brought the phone to her and she said, “Good girl.” She told me to go upstairs and play in my room. She called the hospital as I was on my way upstairs. I heard her tell them that my grandpa is not breathing and she thought he was dead.

They said it would be a half an hour before they got there. She said, “Hurry up, he is dying.” When they got there he was dead. They wrapped up in a body bag and took him away. We had a funeral for him.

When I was about thirteen years old I started to miss him and want him around. But I knew he could not be there any more. I started to blame myself for his death.

Then when we moved I met the wrong type of people. They did drugs. I went to a party and they offered me some and I took them. I did a lot of drugs. I did some stuff called Schoolboy, Candy, and marijuana. If you ask me its not a whole lot of fun. I did it since I was 13. For 1 and a half years I did them and it sucked. I always felt sick . But I stopped it and now that I’m 15 I feel great.

And then I moved to a new high school. Right after I moved my friend went to prison for raping my other friend. They were right in the middle of having sex. She yelled out, “Rape!” My life went down the drain. I started to drink and do drugs again. I hated him for going into prison. But we write each other. He gets out in May. And I am going to go see him as soon as he gets out. So I’m going to tell you this. Don’t stay mad at every one you love because you won’t get anywhere in life.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so sad! I hope you stay away from "bad people" now. You are a good writer, and I bet you are a good person.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Starry, you describe things so clearly. You write really well. I could sense your grief and remorse as I read your post. Keep writing and dealing with your feelings. Use your writing to remember how the drugs and the wrong crowd made you feel and got you in trouble. Let your writing help you to make good choices in the future. Bless you.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very well done Starry. Your writing is very good and I can see you put some thought into the piece. Keep working. Good Job. Good for you. s.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Bonnie Calhoun said...

Starry, your writing is full of emotion. That's very good for someone your age. Remember how you felt when you did the drugs, that bad feeling. That feeling will keep you away from bad stuff and bad people. I look forward to reading more from you. You could make a good writer when you grow up. Keep your focus on only good things.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I felt the pain of your struggles as I read your essay. You write with real emotion, which is something most people can't do. I'm so glad to hear you're off drugs and feeling great. It sounds like you've learned a lot of hard lessons in life and are now following a good and hopeful path for the future.

5:39 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home